Lucia Gannon
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Hi Julie,
Thank you so much for your encouraging comments.
Yes, Anna went to see Margaret as she tends to get overly involved with her patients’ problems and is easily overwhelmed. She is on a clear path to burnout if she does not gain a new perspective. This is part of her journey throughout the book. Thanks for picking up on that. I have it in my head but may need to make it a bit more explicit.Hi Gill,
Your plot is amazing. I don’t know how you came up with it.
I have read through the comments above and see that you have had lots of feedback.
I have nothing to add except that I agree that I did wonder had you just run out of words at the end of the synopsis as I so much wanted a resolution, but I see from your replies that you have this in hand.
I look forward to reading more.
It is heartening to know that this is not a first draft. I was beginning to get a bit overwhelmed by all the wonderful WIPs but this encouraged me to keep going. Thank you.Hi Steven,
Sorry for such late comments.
I like the simple outline that promises so much.
Your chapter outlines are also clear.
I get the impression that Lester is very conflicted but also that he is less than honest.
He is tossing a coin while promising his wife that he will emigrate and seems more worried about the idea of a failed third marriage than that his wife is leaving him. I know nothing at all about cricket, but I did read a very good book that had cricket as the main theme. You may have read it. It is Ian Ridley’s memoir, ‘The Breath of Sadness. On love, grief, and cricket.’
It made me want to go to a few matches and gave me a better appreciation of the sport. I am looking forward to reading more and getting to know Lester.Thanks so much for your feedback, Debbie.
Apologies for the tautology. I think that must have been an error on my part.
Also, ‘psychological realism’ is a term I saw somewhere—I think it might have been Amazon. I don’t know why it stuck in my head, but I have forgotten it already!
I have no problem with being classified as ‘women’s fiction.’
It is a ‘coming of age’ theme, albeit for an older character.It was so difficult to decide what to include in this exercise.
Anna is in her early forties and is not a bit like me! I will use my medical experience where necessary, but I have deliberately created a character who is not like me, as I was afraid of falling into the trap of writing about myself.The reader will meet her two daughters at the end of the first chapter. They are very important to Anna. My synopsis is misleading as she does not leave them. She takes a break on her own for a couple of weeks. Steve is working and her daughters, Elizabeth (11) and Grace (8) stay with Anna’s sister Melissa. She and Steve are having marital difficulties, and Anna seeks solace from all her woes in Jack, an ex-boyfriend, but he is only in Ireland temporarily and the couple have a very brief reunion before Anna returns home, ready to get back to her life and face the consequences of her mistake, the medical council hearing.
This is a turning point for her as she realises she is flawed, human and vulnerable in a way she had never acknowledged before. Her striving to please and gain approval was always her driving force. When she comes home, she finds that Steve is having an affair, and he leaves the family home. Her perfect and carefully constructed life is in tatters, but she feels a sense of freedom as she no longer has to live up to an impossible image.
Both Robert and Anna share the moral dilemma. Robert feels responsible for his mother’s suffering as he would not allow her even to contemplate assisted dying. Margaret is a nurse who pleads with him to administer the morphine when she realizes that Anna has left it on the mantel. So, euthanasia and assisted dying are an underlying theme but persistent theme. I hope the reader will root for Anna while also recognizing that she is far from perfect.
Thanks again for your feedback. I look forward to working with you in the coming weeks.Hi Chithrupa,
I did a response for you last night, but it has disappeared!Here goes again.
I love the premise. A dead man gets to witness the aftermath of his death and see his family at their worst!I had to read the synopsis a few times. I wasn’t sure why it was significant that this was his third death, as it wasn’t mentioned again. I know word counts impose restrictions, but it was just a question I had after reading.
I love how he communicates with his PI through his pet. Is this a dog? This added a bit of light relief to the otherwise dark theme. The overall tone was light, I thought. Especially when you say he ‘doesn’t much mind being dead. A welcome relief from climate change lectures and insufferable fools.’
Your chapter outlines are clear. I wasn’t sure what POV you used in each one and wondered if Xander was omniscient. He could be, as he is dead and doesn’t have to obey the rules of the living with regards to transport and location etc.
I love the names you have chosen, especially Xander. It suggests intrigue, and Renee has to be a baddie!
I am looking forward to reading more. It sounds like a very interesting whodunnit.Hi Richard,
I am writing this BROC, so bear with me if I repeat things.
Full disclosure: I love memoirs! I love peeping into other people’s lives and heads and gaining new insights and ideas from their take on life. I had a memoir published in 2019 following a request from a commissioning editor, and it was such a transformative experience. (It is a very ordinary memoir about a very ordinary life!).
Please ignore anything below that doesn’t resonate with you, but I am just putting everything that crossed my mind down in case it proves useful in any way.From your synopsis, it appears that you will cover practically all of your working life, which is a huge task, and I wondered if, instead of trying to do that, you might take one aspect of your life over a prescribed period that has some short flashbacks to earlier times.
On first impression, I wondered if the starting point could be the award ceremony that came at a time when you were thinking of leaving your career and feeling a certain amount of dissatisfaction with it. The ceremony would understandably prompt you to think more positively, which would provoke lots of memories.
In the synopsis, it is not stated that you had to be cut out of your mother’s car, so I wrote in my notes, ‘What is the significance of the car crash.’ I wonder if this should be more explicit as it would certainly influence your choice of occupation when you went to the UK
I also wondered at what age you emigrated and whether you kept your connection to Zimbabwe or went back there after the attack on your mother’s farm. I wasn’t sure why you mentioned that.
I suppose I would like to know how the book is structured. If you start at the beginning and move forward as you have outlined, I imagine it will take some time to get to the heart of the book, which seems to be the time you spent in the fire service rather than your reasons for emigrating.
I could have this all wrong but hope that there is something useful here.
I’m going to have a look at what the others have said now.
I’m delighted that there is a memoir in the group!Hi Alison,
I am writing this BROC because I get so distracted by other feedback that I lose my initial reaction. I will read the other, almost certainly illuminating, comments later.
Your synopsis is very concise and easy to follow. I get a sense of the plot and how it will be resolved. There is a cause-and-effect logic that keeps me reading. I only had to re-read a couple of things, and that had more to do with my own distractions!
The chapters follow each other logically, and I can see how you set each one up at the end of the preceding one.
I just wondered what age group you were aiming this at. I could imagine reading it to an interested seven-year-old, but would it be mainly for 12–13-year-olds?
I look forward to reading more.Hi Paula,
What a fascinating and ambitious plot.
I love all the various nationalities and global settings. Also the emphasis on climate change adds to the urgency and relevance.
I have learnt a lot from all the valuable feedback! I did think the synopsis read like a blurb, but a blurb that would make me want to read the book.
It’s so hard to write a synopsis in so few words, especially when your plot is so convoluted.
Looking forward to reading more.Hi Julie
I really enjoyed this and am keen to read more.
You packed a lot into that synopsis. I can tell the plot will be intricate and compelling, and I agree with the others about the cinematic quality of your writing.
I love all the storms, lakes, and gorges and the idea of time bending and spirits departing to earlier times and reuniting. Great stuff!Hi Anja,
You give a great sense of Wendall and his mother in the synopsis. I liked the addition of the Russian spy theme. I think it is high time Wendall had a little adventure or two.
It sounds like he has led a much-sheltered life. He reminds me a bit of bacon in The Accidental Tourist (after reading the book and before watching the movie which ruined Macon for me!).
The voice is strong and unique. I think you will know best how to tell the story as it is difficult to tell from a short synopsis. I think dual timelines must be more difficult to write but I like them as a reader. It keeps me on my toes.
I look forward to reading more. A pharmacist and a country vet should make for some interesting conversations!Hi Katie,
I love this story. Your synopsis and chapters are really clear and easy to follow. It’s certainly not a ‘happy ever after.’
I have been watching The Handmaid’s Tale recently and your story reminded me of it. It portrays women’s potential cruelty and how being isolated from a group can be much more hurtful than physical injury at times.
It’s interesting that Mary starts out isolated and alone and ends up in a group that no sane person would want to belong to, or would they?
Do we crave belonging so much that we will forfeit freedom and physical safety to achieve it? I wondered if this was a theme?I wondered also about the starting point. If I imagine this as a screen series, I see it starting with Mary arriving in the centre and possibly a flashback much later to her mother, unless her mother is going to be a major character, but I didn’t get that from the synopsis or chapters.
Just a thought!
I am looking forward to reading more.Hi Kate,
Your WIP immediately reminded me of Atonement with war, romance, the big house, servants etc.
I am in awe of people who can write historical fiction. It must be so much work before you even write a sentence of the novel.
I feel that I know Annie and Harry and am already emotionally invested in them.
I had no trouble following your dual timeline synopsis, which is a huge achievement considering the limited word count.
The chapters all tell their own story, and I can see how they move the story along. The only chapter that I wondered about was chapter 4, where Annie remembers. Even though this is relevant, I wondered about having it as the aim of a whole chapter and feared that it might slow the story down. But obviously, it is difficult to comment when each chapter has to be contained in 3 sentences.
I look forward to reading more.Hi Gillian
I am a bit late to this discussion because of a couple of overly long workdays, and I probably do not have much to add to what everyone has said.
My novel also deals with relationships and change and work/life balance, so I am very interested to see how you do this and to see what might be similar and different.
I admire your variety of characters and look forward to seeing how you develop them.Anna Bradbury is a GP who craves approval and admiration. Anna inadvertently leaves a box of morphine at a patient’s home. The woman’s son, Robert, deliberately injects his mother, and she dies. Anna decides not to report Robert as the incident was partly her fault, but Margaret’s daughter discovers what has happened and reports Anna to the medical council.
Anna leaves her family and goes to Connemara, her home place, and meets a former boyfriend, Jack. Jack listens to her without judgement, which helps her gain a new sense of self.
Anna returns home and learns that her husband, Steve, is having an affair. The medical council rule that Anna can return to restricted medical practice. When Steve suggests that he move back to the family home, Anna says no. Amid these adverse events, Anna senses an unfamiliar feeling of freedom, as she lets go of who she thought she was and discovers who she is.
First 5 Scenes
Scene 1
Anna Bradbury, a GP, decides to visit a terminally ill patient. Margaret, at home, even though Margaret has not requested a call.
Once she is there, Anna feels overwhelming compassion for the dying woman, alongside a sense of helplessness as there is not much that she can do to alleviate Margaret’s suffering.
Both women face each other in the bleak, dim sitting room when a car pulls up outside.
Scene 2
Margaret’s son, Robert, enters the room and reminds Anna that Margaret had wanted to take her own life when she was told that she had motor neurone disease, but he prevented her from doing it, and now she is suffering needlessly.
Anna, determined to help, examines Margaret, and gives her an injection of morphine for pain in her legs as Robert watches closely.
Once that is done, Robert seems keen for Anna to leave so she hurries to her car, as a full moon watches over her, like a large optic disc in the night sky.
Scene 3
Anna is in her car and will arrive home much later than expected.
Her home is a refurbished 1950s bungalow on the outskirts of town where her husband, Steve, her two daughters and her child-minder are waiting for her.
Anna feels annoyed when Steve rushes past her in the hallway on his way to attend an emergency in the local hospital where he works as a surgeon.
Scene 4
It is the following morning, and Anna and Steve are in the bedroom getting ready for work.
Steve is trying to get Anna’s attention, but she is preoccupied with the day ahead and with getting the girls out to school.
Anna gets a phone call from the out-of-hours GP services to say that Margaret Hennessy has died, and without explaining to Steve where she is going or what is going on, she leaves the house abruptly and goes to her car where she checks her doctor’s bag for the box of morphine.
Scene 5
Anna is driving to Hennessy’s, aware that she left a lethal amount of medicine on the mantel and hoping against hope that it will still be there and that Robert did not give his mother an overdose.
At the house, she goes first to the living room and, finding no trace of the medication, asks Robert if he has put it away safely.
Robert answers casually that he has not seen it, and Anna must decide what to do.
